Ride 'Em!
by Oh Bother
Summary: Two Mustangs? Roy's got a little sister running around HQ. RoyEd, and also some Ed/OC, its all peachy keen. Commence the random drabble fun. Latest update: EdOC.
1. What I Go To Work For

So yes, I am back on the writing scene as of now. Let's just say I dont own any of the original ideas from which this will spawn from. Good to go? Awesomo. Commence the fun. OC alert.

____

**What I Go To Work For**

Abigail Mustang sat in her small office staring at the nothingness that was her desk. No paperwork, no investigations, no nothing. Not even an email, she never got correspondence. Unless it was from her mother checking in on her. Her office was completely empty, with the exceptions of a few notebooks, newspapers, sudoku puzzles and Betty and Veronica comic books. Of course, in her boredom, she had previously organized them into neat piles.

According to date.

Number of pages.

And how many times she had read over them.

Now why did she even come to work? It wasn't because Roy would give her an earful about responsibilities. No, that wasn't it. She could feel a headache forming in the back of her head. Grabbing the back of her skull, she banged her head on the desk, not realizing that would only make it worse. Slowly, with her hand attached to her head, she lifted her head from her oak desk. When her eyes opened, they adjusted to the sight of Edward sitting on her desk.

He said nothing, but quickly and discreetly embraced her lips in his. He then hopped off of the desk, walked out of her office, made an about-face turn and continued walking down the hall. Abigail realized that her headache was now gone.

___

_Abigail, is in fact, Roy's little sister. Who works at the Central HQ with the rest of them. She is a state alchemist, or is working towards it. __Fun stuff? Want more? :D Thanks for reading!_


	2. Baby by Me

I still dont own FMA. But thats alright with me.

___

**Baby By Me**

_Have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire. Be a millionaire, be a millionair_e.

The base of the car that had stopped right in front of his office window that he had casually left open was irritating Roy. He simply did not understand why anyone would turn music that loud, much less who could stand it being that loud.

Just then he stopped staring at the final paper on his desk and took in a deep breath. Before he knew it, he was bobbing his head to the beat of the catchy tune. Soon, his foot began to tap and he was humming unconsciously. He wasn't completely stiff, he listened to the radio now and then. Yet, the only times he had heard this song was when said radio was being dominated by one of two hormonally engulfed teenagers.

"HAVE A BABY BY ME BABY BE A MI-YON-AIR, MI-YON-AIR!"

"Excuse me?" Roy stopped singing to see Ed standing in his doorway, with his subordinates crowding behind him to find the source of the "rapping". His face turned a slight red and Ed sighed as he turned and walked away. "You don't even have that kind of money. Trust me, I've seen your paycheck."

____

_RoyEd RoyEd RoyEd. Nuff said. Love this pairing._


	3. Raise

Another RoyEd? I think so!

____

**Raise**

"Roy I think its time I got a raise." Abigail stormed into her older brother and superior's office, with no regard for his power as usual. It seemed as if the only ones that completely discarded that he was the highest ranking person on this side of the building, were women. First, Hawkeye. Well, actually, she was just down-fright scary, whether or not she had her gun in-tote. Now, this wonderful child he called his sister. Roy clenched his fist around the pen that it had been warming and held his tongue, once again.

"And why do you think that?"

"I deserve one." She looked around him and out of the window.

"You don't do anything, Abigail."

"And you do?" Oh yeah, she went there. Roy turned his head to the ever-growing pile of paperwork on his desk and sighed at her truths. He did do things at work though, they just weren't necessarily work related. She smiled in what she saw as another victory over her sibling. "So how much are we talking? I`m willing to negotiate this raise."

"What the hell, Mustang!" In stormed a smaller, blonde alchemist, at which the younger of the 'Mustangs' turned to acknowledge. "How come SHE gets a raise and I don't?"

"Before you get your panties in a bunch, SHE isn't getting a raise." He never looked up to acknowledge the male teen in his office. "But, I'll give you a raise, Edward."

Satisfied, Edward smiled and Abigail damn near lit them both on fire with her eyes. "What the hell, Mustang?! How come he gets a raise and I can't! What the hell is that?!"

"The raise that you are talking about, Abigail, and the one I am talking about are two COMPLETELY different things." Roy still stared at the stack of paperwork, with his face resting in his hand. He tilted his head to one side as her face turned from one of anger to one of disgust and she stormed out of the office.

"That's freaking disgusting, Colonel!"

___

_I really hope you understood the underlying message in the type of "raise" Roy was talking about, if not, then i have failed. Haha. I loved writing this one._


	4. Cocolatte Part I

___

**Coco-latte part I**

Sometimes it was great thing to work with your sibling. Right now would be one of those times. Just sitting in your office, staring at the ever-growing mound of things that you should be doing, and not seeing your co-workers when they walk in and add more. All you saw was that it was multiplying.

Growing.

Like a fungus.

Or like a mosquito bite, and every time you attacked it, it only gets worse. So you have to just sit and look at it, no matter how much it irritates you. The time you do look up, a person that shares your last name is standing there with a box. A box filled with chocolates. A smile grew upon both of your faces.

Sometimes it was worth it.

___

_This was actually the first "drabble" I had written in this whole series. I thought the whole aspect of working with a sibling would suck monkey toes, and then on valentine's day, I got some chocolate and this came to me. I thought it was a cute little thing to write. But then i figured that it might be a little out of place, since I hadn't specified which Mustang was doing what. So, there will be a part two to kind of add the humor-ousness to it, I suppose. Fun stuff._


	5. Cocolatte Part II

____

**Coco-latte Part II**

Abigail was sitting at her desk, holding a small red box. This box contained chocolates, out of which she took one by one. Unlike most people, she took two or three bites from each bite-sized shape, be it a square, heart or whatever. Savoring every morsel, she didn't even realize when Ed stormed into her small office. She also didn't notice when he stood there for approximately five seconds waiting to be noticed. She finally noticed when he crashed his lips onto hers, using his tongue to steal her attention.

And her chocolate.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Edward took a couple bites and as he did, his face did a complete 180.

"What. Kind... of chocolate... is this?" He said in between bites.

"Milk Cho—" He cut her of by shoving his face into hers, tongue first, chocolate still on said tongue. She held her arms as far away from her as possible to restrain him from her mouth. Many a 'ew' and obscenities emerged from her mouth. "ED WHAT THE HELL, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."

"TACK ET BAH! TACK ET BAH!" He said as he kept his tongue from re-entering his mouth.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING."

*SNAP*

"You two really are evil, you know that?" Ed glared at the two Mustangs standing on either side of him as he finished patting out a small flame on his head.

____

_This is part two, hooray! Heh, it took me a couple days after I wrote the first part to come up with this. But hey, its fun stuff. I hope you enjoyed the double update._


	6. Underpants

____

**Underpants**

Now Edward was never one to follow fashion trends very intricately, or even at all, for that matter. But one day, Riza noticed that he had his, as Larry Platt would put it, "pants on the ground." She could even see the band in his underwear. At this, she was disgusted, thus had to end it.

"Edward, I'm going to have to ask you to pull your pants up."

"Oh, I'm sorry Lieutenant; I can't seem to find my belt." At this, he bent over, exposing even more of his 'delicates'. She took a notice to the singular R that appeared over and over again in many different colors and patters on said delicates, which caused her to ponder a little. It seemed as if she had let it go when she walked away back towards her office. Edward found his belt, "Here it is!"

He sat back at his desk, and notice there was a small blinking out of the corner of his eye. Ed picked up the phone and didn't expect who was on the other side.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye has a question that she can't ask you." It was the colonel's younger sibling.

"Um, okay, what is it?"

"She was wondering if the Rs on your, um, undergarments stood for Ralph Lauren."

His face turned a little pink. "No."

"Rocawear?"

"No."

"Rim Rocka?"

"No."

"Roxy? Rave? Renegade?" With every guess, the answer was the same. "Well, what does it stand for?"

"Roy."

____

_I love "Pants on the Ground", just as a side tidbit. General Larry Platt is awesome._


	7. Test

____

**T.E.S.T. - Totally Evil Stinky Things**

It seemed as if something had just happened within the Central HQ. The only way that Roy knew this was because of the rapidly blinking range tab on his computer screen. Every time it seemed as if the blinking would become a steady orange that he could ignore, a little bell sound went off and it began again. After twenty minutes of it, Roy finally clicked on the tab conveniently named "Abby".

****Hey Lee-Roy.**

****Fuhrer sent out a new legislation, requiring all state alchemists to take the newest version of the written exam.**

****I don't know why you keep ignoring me.**

****This time is actually important.**

****I wonder what will happen if you fail it.**

****Lee-Roy, what do you think?**

****Would you get like...**

****Beaten with your pocket watch?**

****Because that would hurt.**

****Lee-Roy?**

****Roy?**

****Colonel?**

****I hate you.**

****Bye.**

****Oh, and I borrowed five dollars.**

_Shit._ Roy thought to himself. That only means... MORE paperwork. And this time, he would be watched as he did it. He couldn't get anyone to do it for him. He sat at his desk, trying to figure out how he could weasel out of this...

****Don't even think about trying to weasel your slick ass out of this, Colonel. –Love, Abby**

As much as he hated to admit it, kid sister was right this time. Plus, what would happen if he didn't take it? Would they really beat him with his pocket watch? Roy sat there thinking about that very possibility, deducting that it would be best to follow orders and pass.

****I need five more dollars.**

Roy saw Abigail standing outside of some small office on the west side of the building, staring out of the window. There wasn't anything particularly interesting outside of the window, unless one enjoys watching the ozone being destroyed in the atmosphere. She stood there and didn't even notice when he walked right up to her. Conversely, Roy didn't notice when Ed walked up right next to him. Insert short joke here. Abigail snapped out of her daze, and immediately looked at Edward. With a stone-cold face, she told him, "I'm gonna copy your answers." Ed shrugged as the two walked into the small room with a rectangular table set in the middle of it.

"Abigail, what the hell did you just say?"

"Mmmhmm. You heard what I said." She took a seat next to Ed, on whose other side Roy sat.

"You can't do that!" Abigail gave him a look as if to say 'do I look like I really care?' Roy sighed. "It's wrong."

"I'd rather have one of me wrong rather than all of my answers." She winked at him, all while Ed sat in between them like a statue. Pulse? Check. One hour later. Abigail: 83 Edward: 94 Roy: 46.

Ed walked past Roy after he slammed his head on his desk in response to his score. "Damn, you really are as dumb as you look."

_____

_Longest drabble to date. Poor Roy. What will happen to him? Ill take your ideas!_


	8. Black Keys

So this is a song-one-shot-fic. Based on "Black Keys" by the Jonas Brothers. Yeah, it popped up on my iTunes and then this formed. Enjoy! I have decided to dedicate this drabble to _xplanetsx_, because you continually read and review, which makes my day. Thanks and this is for you!

____

**Black Keys**

_And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull._

"FINE. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS." His gorgeous blonde hair flew as he jumped around, practically spitting obscenities.

_Hates the sun cuz it proves she's not alone._

All the windows in the Colonel's office were shut, with the curtains pulled. The sun was fully out and shining, yet it seemed like the dead of night.

_She loves the sky, because it validates her pride._

Edward found himself looking up at the sky again. He had told himself that this would be the last time he would be treated like this. Never again would someone treat him differently because of his past. Finally, he had stood up for himself. Some would say that wasn't much because of his height, or lack thereof. Did he take it too far? He had never seen his face so blank, so pale, lifeless even. '_Shit_.' Ed thought to himself as he stood up and walked, and then ran up the HQ steps.

_Never lets you know when she is wrong._

He turned and left, slamming his own door in his face. That was it.

_The walls are closing in,_

Roy looked up from inside of his folded arms when light spilled into his office. There he stood, small and blonde. He loved him more than ever before, even after what he had said.

_Don't let them get inside of your head_

Before he knew it, his small blonde frame was there pushing his jet black hair from his face. He took his superior's face in his hands and pressed their lips together. And then they sat there, in silence, in darkness. It didn't matter, because they were with the one they loved most.

_Showin' me a world I never knew._

_____

_It really is an amazing song and I tried to do it justice. Tell me how I did? Thanks for reading!_


	9. Championship

____

**Championship Pop Bottles**

"I FEEL LIKE I WON A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!" No one was sure how much longer that poor little gutter could hold the weight of the adolescent alchemist before it would give. They all watched, but they were unsure of what they could do. Two had already begun to run up to the roof to save this possible catastrophe. Random yelps and gasps did not faze her as she stood on the edge of the Central HQ roof.

"ABIGAIL WHAT THE HELL." Roy screamed at his sister from the door that was the only entrance, but not the only exit from the roof. Edward panted in pain behind him falling to his knees as his shorter legs could not keep up with the colonel.

"I FEEL LIKE I HAVE WON A CHAMPIONSHIP RANG!"

"WHAT?"

"POP BOTTLES!"

"STRAIGHT UP OUT THE WATER!"

"ABIGAIL."

"I AM THE BIRDMAN!" She flapped her arms as if she were actually a bird, causing her to lose her balance. Ed quickly clapped his hands together and slammed them onto the roof, creating a platform onto which Abigail fell. She lay there still for a couple seconds as the two approached her. She simply stared at them with her wide, innocent looking eyes. Roy looked his sister dead in the eye and sighed.

"Now you know you're not supposed to have caffeine."

_____

**_I think this is what you would qualify as crack? With a side of OD OC, hahah. My first attempt at describing an act of alchemy. :) Based on "Championship Pop Bottles" by Lil' Wayne and Birdman. I should really take my iPod off of shuffle..._**


	10. Hands

**_Yeah, its been a while since a good drabble, but i hope this can make up for some of that time! RoyEd anyone? If you dont wanna read a sad-ish drabble, then i would advise you to not go ahead and read this._  
****______________**

**Hands**

Roy sat in his office, alone. The window lay cracked, and his hair lay in his face, covering part of his eyes. He turned and took a special notice to a certain item on his desk, a ponytail holder. Roy had never, and had no intentions of, putting his hair in a ponytail. He was no hairdresser, and he even found them quite, annoying, with their flamboyancies and all. They were just too stereotypically gay for him, and he hated it. No, not the fact that they were gay, he had nothing against gay people whatsoever. On the contrary, Roy was actually gay himself. But he wasn't one of those gay men with the high pitched voices and tendencies you would typically associate with a gay man.

No, he was more of the deep-voiced men who twitched constantly. Like right now, his left eye began to twitch as he touched the ponytail holder, as he fondled it in his un-gloved hand. There were still little hairs attached to it, two or three strands wrapped themselves around the red circle. That was only a fraction of the hair Roy saw when he poorly attempted to braid someone's hair. That was another reason he hated hairdressers, they were able to touch his hair... with out hurting him. Roy had a habit of causing some kind of pain whenever he touched another's hair. Be it through gum or a comb, someone always got hurt. He hated that he couldn't even do the simplest braid.

His right eye began to twitch when he looked up and there stood his lover, who had just slipped into his office. Not mention scared the hell out of him. The younger man stood there, scratching his head, his free hair shaking as he ran his fingers through it. Oh how Roy wished to run his fingers through that hair. He simply watched as the blonde stood there, his hair past his shoulders in a slightly tamed mess. Oh, how he longed to tame that hair, and everything attached to it.

Neither man said a thing, but the older male simply got up and walked over to his lover and slid the ponytail holder onto his left wrist. He didn't want to hurt Edward again, in any way. He could only sit back at his desk since his door was open and watch as the blonde plucked at the thing around his arm and walked out. Roy sighed, alone again. He opened a drawer on his left pulling out a box, a box filled with ponytail holders of the exact shape and color. He fiddled with them and wondered why his hands could only cause destruction and pain...  
_____________

**_Yeah, i didnt really know where this came from. It just came to me and thus it is alive! What do you think? I dont really like the tought of Roy sad, but I figure with his actions in the Ishballan War, he could be a little sad baby at times. I was initially gonna call this ponytail, but it went in a different direction than i thought it would so it ended up with the title that it has now. I hope you liked it._**


	11. The Muffin Man

_**Its been an even LONGER time since I have updated anything, but here's an update! Hope you like it as much as I did.  
**_**_**

**The Muffin Man**

There are very few things in the world that I love. Puppies, frozen treats, deep fried everything, and the library. I have always loved the library for various reasons. It was quiet, somewhere where you can go to reflect rationally on things. It has about a billion books in each one, so if you needed to know something, you could find it in the library. It has couches, so you could take a nap if you wanted. The various nooks and crannies in the library were perfect for silent hide-and-go-seek as a kid. Unlike the library in school, you could eat and drink in the public library. I just loved so many things about the library.

Because of this fact, I spend just about every mid Saturday morning to afternoon in the library. It was calming to me after the stresses of military work and especially military personnel. I grabbed my little backpack off of the back of my desk chair and skipped down the stairs. Roy stood in the kitchen in his underwear and t-shirt with the refrigerator door ajar. His head popped out from behind the door when I made one of the boards in the floor squeak a little.

"Good morning!" He was unusually cheery this morning. Maybe he got laid last night? Probably. Regardless, it was a nice change of pace from the weekly morning rush.

"Mornin'!"

"Abi, where are you going?"

"Roy, I'm going to the library. Like I do every Saturday." He nodded as he remembered this weekly ritual.

He tossed me an apple from the bowl on the kitchen island counter. "Heads up!"

"Roy...this is made of wax." I placed the apple on the island counter next to the stove. "I'll grab something from a stand on the way. Would you like to throw my five dollars to feed me?"

"Go, _now_." He pointed towards the door with a smile and we both laughed as I walked out of the front door. Saturday mornings were usually the highlight of my week. Not because the birds were chirping, because they tend to wake me up from whatever dream I didn't want to wake up from. Nor was it because the sun rose a little bit more beautifully on weekends. The lack of stress from weekly things, like work, just make you feel good.

I stopped at one of my stands on Main Street, buying the muffin of the day and a cup of orange juice. Supposedly, the juice is squeezed fresh every morning, whatever it was, it was good. "Thank you, Leah!" I was pretty much on a first name basis with the vendors on this side of Main, yet they still refuse to give me a discount. Once I finally reached the library after the 20 minute walk, the smell of books filled my nostrils and made me feel like today was going to be a good day. Walking past rows and rows of books, I reached my destination: a small square table with eight chairs around it. Sitting on one side of a corner, I placed my bag in the chair right next to me. One last look at my watch read 10:49am, meaning it was time to pull out some books and get to work.

On average, I usually look around about seven times per hour because it feels like someone is around. Yet, somehow, I never know when there actually is someone there. Except when a person takes my bag off of the chair next to me, sits in that chair and places my bag in my lap. There are some things that you just do not do; breaking someone's train of thought is one of those things. "You might be the only person that studies harder than I do, Abigail."

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Nothing. Where's Al?"

"He is coming later. What's that?"

"What? Oh, my muffin? Uh, well, I haven't eaten yet today..." For the second time since I got here, I looked at my watch – 12:26pm. Ed looked at me with concern. "Haha! Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because." He took a chunk from my muffin with his hand and ate it. "You work too hard."

"Oh, so now the pot is calling the kettle black? You are always studying and working and running around." I looked over to the books on his side of the table, they looked like alchemic gibberish. "What are you always working on anyways?"

"Stuff."

"Figures..." He never talked about what he was always studying. He was always studying something that I never could understand. If a stranger came up to us in the library, they would see "Alchemy for Dummies" on my side and "Advanced Futuristic Alchemy Stuff for Super Smartical People" on Ed's side. We were on such different levels, it's amazing.

We sat in silence for an unknown length of time at that table until he looked up. He grabbed my wrist and turned it in an obscure way. Never mind the pain inflicted on my shoulder, he continued to twist my wrist. "Are you _ever_ going to eat that?"

"Is is bothering you?"

"Yes, it is."

"Then no." He took out another chunk from the muffin and stuffed it into his mouth. "If you want to eat it, then just eat it, Edward. I don't really care."

"No." His stubbornness might actually rival in comparison to Roy's. More time passed and I began to slump down into my chair. For a split second, I felt him looking at me and then looked right back into his book. I took a chunk from my muffin and ate it.

"Blueberry."

"What about it?"

"I hate blueberry muffins."

Overall, it ended up being a successful library day.  
_

_**I've been just writing some random stuff over the past few months, and hoped that some of it was good and worth reading...kind of like this one! What do you guys think? If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them and maybe you'll see your idea pop up! Thanks for reading!**_


End file.
